Every year that I go to OMP (Ozark Mission Project) God shouts at me. Not in a bad way but in a humbling moving way. Every year it's something different.
I've always heard and even used the saying "God showed up and showed off!". One of the speakers this week pointed out that God is always here. He is already there and been there and knows the outcome. It is us that has to show up in order for God to use us in a way that shows Him off...It is us that has to be open to His word and His greatness to be moved in and by the Spirit.
This really has been working on me. I have been living my life waiting for moments that God will show up and show off. Sure He does some times...but it's the times that I let myself go and am open to let Him work in and through me that it actually happens. Stupid Sarah....He's right here just waiting on you to actually show up every moment of every day.
This past week our group at OMP did almost 40 projects. I may not have been a driver working directly with the neighbors but I got to see a little piece of several of the projects and neighbors. It was enough to leave a mark on my heart. Mrs Jumper praising God constantly even though she had a huge hole in her roof from a fallen tree. Little Terry who could not even speak but was more concerned about us workers getting enough water than he was about himself basting in the heat of the sun. Another lady thankful to have a place to live after theft, fire, and flood only to praise God that this is only our temporary home. These people even with hardly anything to their name, living in rough conditions, and some with severe illnesses praise God for all that they have.
How many times do I myself cry and weep and whine about my situation in this life when really it's not that bad. It's actually pretty darn good.
God is really working on me to quit being selfish in my wants and desires and to put it all I have, all I want, and all I desire back into glorifying and exalting Him. He continues to use people and things in my life whether it be through a speaker at OMP or a friend just giving wise advise or a book that gives a detailed observation of the trinity or maybe a song or a devotional booklet or whatever it may be. God is there working and each day from here on out I refuse to sit in the shadows and watch as God moves around me. I chose to Show Up and let Him move in me and through me each and every day!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
i dont want to go
You changed my world when you came to me. You drove passion in my soul down deep. Lord, to follow You in everything. I don't want to go somewhere if i know that You're not there 'cause I know that me without You is a lie. And I don't want to walk that road and be a million miles from home 'cause my heart needs to be where You are! So I don't want to go. So come whatever I'll stick with You. I'll walk You'll lead me. Call me crazy or a fool for forever I promise You that without Your touch without Your love filling me like an ocean for Your grace is enough. Enough for me to never want to go somewhere if I know that You're not there.
- I don't want to go by Avalon
This song really speaks to me. Because i personally have stopped walking down some roads because I know that He won't be glorified there but rather condemned. Sometimes that means distancing friendships to almost an end.
It's not that I don't care because I do. It's just that I need to stop trying to force my love on people who don't want it. I would give it to them in 10 years if they asked for it even though they have forsaken me. I'd still give it to them. I would!
I'd rather walk closer to Him than go down a path away from Him just to be someone's friend.
I've been reading Radical by David Platt. He encourages us to lead a life pursuing and growing God's kingdom and not to live our lives wanting to fit into the American Dream. The American dream is selfish always wanting more for yourself and to be comfortable. David Platt points out that Jesus' life was not comfortable. He did not have everything. If we are all called to be like Him then why do we so strongly desire all these worldly things.
I know this blog is titled i don't want to go....but the song that it's referring to says "I don't want to go somewhere if you're not there". The more I think about it...we don't go anywhere that He is not already there. He is always with us. Of course steering away from people and things that ask us to leave God behind and pursue sin first is probably smart. However, isn't that what God is asking of us...to take Him to those places...the dangerous places...the lost people...if they do not know Him then they will always be dangerous and lost and He is calling us to ALL nations, tribes and tongues.
As easy as it is to stay at home and to take the easy road of the American dream...what will we get from that? Will God be satisfied that we just bathed in His creation but didn't share it with others? Maybe you are...maybe you don't feel called (like me) to go to the nations. What about just with love? There is always a way to share God's love even if our gift isn't teaching or preaching. How about sharing God's love by simply loving others....down the street....in the next town....in the next state...in another country. Love on others by sharing the gospel...by sharing the American wealth..by simply caring enough to show up when God calls.
I'm not saying God is calling me to sell everything and move to a different country. But He may one day. I'm just making a point that we have to at least care enough for those around us who are less fortunate than us or lost to love them the way that God has called us to. Love on your neighbors!
I don't want to go...without You, Oh Lord!
- I don't want to go by Avalon
This song really speaks to me. Because i personally have stopped walking down some roads because I know that He won't be glorified there but rather condemned. Sometimes that means distancing friendships to almost an end.
It's not that I don't care because I do. It's just that I need to stop trying to force my love on people who don't want it. I would give it to them in 10 years if they asked for it even though they have forsaken me. I'd still give it to them. I would!
I'd rather walk closer to Him than go down a path away from Him just to be someone's friend.
I've been reading Radical by David Platt. He encourages us to lead a life pursuing and growing God's kingdom and not to live our lives wanting to fit into the American Dream. The American dream is selfish always wanting more for yourself and to be comfortable. David Platt points out that Jesus' life was not comfortable. He did not have everything. If we are all called to be like Him then why do we so strongly desire all these worldly things.
I know this blog is titled i don't want to go....but the song that it's referring to says "I don't want to go somewhere if you're not there". The more I think about it...we don't go anywhere that He is not already there. He is always with us. Of course steering away from people and things that ask us to leave God behind and pursue sin first is probably smart. However, isn't that what God is asking of us...to take Him to those places...the dangerous places...the lost people...if they do not know Him then they will always be dangerous and lost and He is calling us to ALL nations, tribes and tongues.
As easy as it is to stay at home and to take the easy road of the American dream...what will we get from that? Will God be satisfied that we just bathed in His creation but didn't share it with others? Maybe you are...maybe you don't feel called (like me) to go to the nations. What about just with love? There is always a way to share God's love even if our gift isn't teaching or preaching. How about sharing God's love by simply loving others....down the street....in the next town....in the next state...in another country. Love on others by sharing the gospel...by sharing the American wealth..by simply caring enough to show up when God calls.
I'm not saying God is calling me to sell everything and move to a different country. But He may one day. I'm just making a point that we have to at least care enough for those around us who are less fortunate than us or lost to love them the way that God has called us to. Love on your neighbors!
I don't want to go...without You, Oh Lord!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
imprint on my heart
I haven't blogged in FOREVER! Sorry. It's not that I haven't felt lead to..it's just that when I get time to I've been way too exhausted. Plus we had some major internet issues in the dorm. I still don't get internet in my bedroom and that's where I normally no my best blogging. ;)
Anywho, it has been a great semester regardless of internet issues. Challenging but great!
Every year I'm here at CBC I meet some amazing people. Amazing people that I hope to have in my life for a long time preferably forever!
Even though I knew for a while that the group of newcomers this year was a good one, it wasn't until toward mid-spring semester that I realized that sure enough it's another really amazing group! The semester was a lot of fun but there were also many days that simply put an imprint on my heart.
I know I'm suppose to be here to mentor these kids and help them grow and make them feel at home. I love this job! Every year it's the students that force me to continue to grow...even though they may not even know it. I'm still growing just like they are but some of them are simply amazing. I can see God flowing inside and out of them.
God uses us in ways that we don't understand sometimes. He definitely keeps pushing me to step outside of my little comfort zone almost as soon as I get settled into it...Constantly He keeps doing this. :) Not only was I blessed with great students who I look up to in their walk with God but this semester He called me to disciple one of them. Me?...really? Ok?!. (It's hard to say No to God). Well... I'm pretty sure I failed. But I bought her a good book if that counts for anything. We ran out of semester and she isn't coming back to school here. So I'm a failure at discipleship because I use the world to fill my time leaving no time for such things. AWFUL!!! I hope He gives me another chance.
He also has forced me to cut ties that I wasn't really ready to cut. I know it is for the best. It's still hard sometimes. He has greater things in store and more great people for me to meet.
I have a lot of emotions about this semester from the sadness of possibly not ever seeing some of these students again, the gladness that all their drama is not in my life and in my dorm for the summer, and the emotion of not really having much of a life outside of this place.
I'm really looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me this summer. I don't really have much planned but with a willing servant heart who knows what will happen. :)
Anywho, it has been a great semester regardless of internet issues. Challenging but great!
Every year I'm here at CBC I meet some amazing people. Amazing people that I hope to have in my life for a long time preferably forever!
Even though I knew for a while that the group of newcomers this year was a good one, it wasn't until toward mid-spring semester that I realized that sure enough it's another really amazing group! The semester was a lot of fun but there were also many days that simply put an imprint on my heart.
I know I'm suppose to be here to mentor these kids and help them grow and make them feel at home. I love this job! Every year it's the students that force me to continue to grow...even though they may not even know it. I'm still growing just like they are but some of them are simply amazing. I can see God flowing inside and out of them.
God uses us in ways that we don't understand sometimes. He definitely keeps pushing me to step outside of my little comfort zone almost as soon as I get settled into it...Constantly He keeps doing this. :) Not only was I blessed with great students who I look up to in their walk with God but this semester He called me to disciple one of them. Me?...really? Ok?!. (It's hard to say No to God). Well... I'm pretty sure I failed. But I bought her a good book if that counts for anything. We ran out of semester and she isn't coming back to school here. So I'm a failure at discipleship because I use the world to fill my time leaving no time for such things. AWFUL!!! I hope He gives me another chance.
He also has forced me to cut ties that I wasn't really ready to cut. I know it is for the best. It's still hard sometimes. He has greater things in store and more great people for me to meet.
I have a lot of emotions about this semester from the sadness of possibly not ever seeing some of these students again, the gladness that all their drama is not in my life and in my dorm for the summer, and the emotion of not really having much of a life outside of this place.
I'm really looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me this summer. I don't really have much planned but with a willing servant heart who knows what will happen. :)
Saturday, January 15, 2011
God knows!
Beth Moore said In His sovereign wisdom, God requires His children to exercise the will and action to deliberately take what He graciously gives. - He often lays out gifts but He wants us to push ourselves through the fear of ourselves..through the fear of failing...He will make sure that we get the gifts but we have to reach for it..we sometimes have to crawl through the fear and pain to get to it.
God is developing muscle in us to hang on, to defend what He gives us. He gives but we have to go get it. Take what we've been given. The enemy often plays "Chicken" with us. Hold straight. Trust the path. Do not look left or right. Stay straight and trust.
I typed this up several weeks ago in the midst of doing "The Inheritance" Beth Moore bible study. It obviously means a lot. Beth Moore is amazing. I read this again today and I laughed. Oh God...He is a funny guy! What Beth Moore shared with me a few months ago means so much now.
God not only gives us gifts and asks us to get off our lazy butts and go get them. But He does it again and again. It's funny after you crawl through a period of life and then stand with bloody elbows and dirt on your face...it's pretty great to realize that God got me through that!!...I'm too reserved, uneducated, and self conscious to have done that just by myself bc just by myself I wouldn't have done a thing. It was all Him.
Everyone has ups and downs...yes some of those ups are amazing for some people and for some it's just good times of wonderful contentment and yes some of those downs are harder on some people than others to an extent we may not understand.
"The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you" is a quote I always reflect on. God rescues and protects me(us) from all harm. Psalm 91:9,10 If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your dwelling.
So no matter what crap we go through or what happiest of happy moments we get. God is the only thing that never changes. So even when we are searching for who we really are and who we are suppose to be in this world. God knows! We may think we do and sometimes we get real comfortable and confident about our path...sometimes when things are good and our heads get too big to get in the door...He throws in a kink to the plan...makes this life hard again. Well guess what...life is hard! It's going to be hard! Like Beth said...We have to exercise our faith. Keep building that muscle. Deflate that swollen head and come back to reality...it hurts a little less when we get slapped in the face if we have a God formed strong willed head on our shoulders.
We can't control what God or the world throws us. Sure we can hide from it. I do that sometimes. But even hiding doesn't change anything. God is still giving us gifts that we need to step up and take responsibility for. And the world always seeps into the cracks and finds us too. God placed us here to be a part of this place. There is a reason we are here now. Sometimes in the world the bad stands out and pull at us more than the good...but we got to stay strong, got to stay on that path, we can't look left or right and dwell on the bad, we have to stay straight on that path God lays for us each day!
1 Corinthians 2:9-10 says No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him...but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.
I say all this because I question my own path often. I'm not criticizing you for your life or your choices. I'm talking to myself mostly and maybe it will help you too.
But I get unsure because I still feel so new and I'm not this super Christian who breathes out scriptures (i have to research and look stuff up and then the next day I may have to look it up again) and I'm not real outspoken and still working on be comfortable with praying aloud. Yet God placed me in a situation that I have to speak up. That I have to help others in ways that I don't really know how. God has me here for a reason...His reasons not my own. Sometimes I see it...sometimes it takes a good friend to tell me what I can't see. But I'm on the path! I'm building muscle and holding tight. It's pretty scary at times! But He is working through me...ME. I don't feel like I deserve to be used to help others when I still have so much to work on myself...but it's not my choice. He knows what we are capable of. He gives those gifts and if we step up and take it He will use us when and where He needs us. He will reveal it to us by his Spirit!
Sorry if this is a little jumbled and confusing at times...I'm not a writer. I'm just a girl sharing a journey.
God is developing muscle in us to hang on, to defend what He gives us. He gives but we have to go get it. Take what we've been given. The enemy often plays "Chicken" with us. Hold straight. Trust the path. Do not look left or right. Stay straight and trust.
I typed this up several weeks ago in the midst of doing "The Inheritance" Beth Moore bible study. It obviously means a lot. Beth Moore is amazing. I read this again today and I laughed. Oh God...He is a funny guy! What Beth Moore shared with me a few months ago means so much now.
God not only gives us gifts and asks us to get off our lazy butts and go get them. But He does it again and again. It's funny after you crawl through a period of life and then stand with bloody elbows and dirt on your face...it's pretty great to realize that God got me through that!!...I'm too reserved, uneducated, and self conscious to have done that just by myself bc just by myself I wouldn't have done a thing. It was all Him.
Everyone has ups and downs...yes some of those ups are amazing for some people and for some it's just good times of wonderful contentment and yes some of those downs are harder on some people than others to an extent we may not understand.
"The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you" is a quote I always reflect on. God rescues and protects me(us) from all harm. Psalm 91:9,10 If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your dwelling.
So no matter what crap we go through or what happiest of happy moments we get. God is the only thing that never changes. So even when we are searching for who we really are and who we are suppose to be in this world. God knows! We may think we do and sometimes we get real comfortable and confident about our path...sometimes when things are good and our heads get too big to get in the door...He throws in a kink to the plan...makes this life hard again. Well guess what...life is hard! It's going to be hard! Like Beth said...We have to exercise our faith. Keep building that muscle. Deflate that swollen head and come back to reality...it hurts a little less when we get slapped in the face if we have a God formed strong willed head on our shoulders.
We can't control what God or the world throws us. Sure we can hide from it. I do that sometimes. But even hiding doesn't change anything. God is still giving us gifts that we need to step up and take responsibility for. And the world always seeps into the cracks and finds us too. God placed us here to be a part of this place. There is a reason we are here now. Sometimes in the world the bad stands out and pull at us more than the good...but we got to stay strong, got to stay on that path, we can't look left or right and dwell on the bad, we have to stay straight on that path God lays for us each day!
1 Corinthians 2:9-10 says No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him...but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.
I say all this because I question my own path often. I'm not criticizing you for your life or your choices. I'm talking to myself mostly and maybe it will help you too.
But I get unsure because I still feel so new and I'm not this super Christian who breathes out scriptures (i have to research and look stuff up and then the next day I may have to look it up again) and I'm not real outspoken and still working on be comfortable with praying aloud. Yet God placed me in a situation that I have to speak up. That I have to help others in ways that I don't really know how. God has me here for a reason...His reasons not my own. Sometimes I see it...sometimes it takes a good friend to tell me what I can't see. But I'm on the path! I'm building muscle and holding tight. It's pretty scary at times! But He is working through me...ME. I don't feel like I deserve to be used to help others when I still have so much to work on myself...but it's not my choice. He knows what we are capable of. He gives those gifts and if we step up and take it He will use us when and where He needs us. He will reveal it to us by his Spirit!
Sorry if this is a little jumbled and confusing at times...I'm not a writer. I'm just a girl sharing a journey.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
a single girl's heart
I believe and am proud that God has a glorious plan for me. I also believe that He knows the desires of my heart.
With each year, with each holiday, with each wedding, with each child I see...I begin to wonder if God's plan for me is to live a single life of service toward Him. Of course I would be grateful and proud to do this and will if that is God's plan. Is that the desire of my heart though? No.
My desire is to have a wonderful male companion to share this life with who lives for God and together as one we are made whole. I don't believe myself to be too picky. I just want a man to love me for me but love God first.
But anywho, I stumbled across this article and I wanted to share because it speaks directly to what I am struggling with right now and maybe there are some out there that need this message as well. So here ya go:
Single Woman – Is there any hope for marriage?
As a single woman, have you ever considered the married couples you know and thought to yourself "I’m just as pretty as she is. Why don’t I have a husband, too? What’s wrong with me?" If you have ever had a thought like this, I want to assure you that you are not alone.
The desire to be married and have a husband and home to care for is deeply ingrained in us as women. While the prospect of being a wife is wonderful, the continual longing to be changed from a single woman to a married woman can be a heart-wrenching and miserable emotional time. I know.
I was single myself until the age of 41. I hoped, prayed, struggled, looked around at other women who were married, and compared myself with them countless times, wondering why I hadn’t been chosen as a wife yet. Since I am a Christian, my main thought was "I am following You, God, not dating anyone, waiting for You to choose a husband for me. I’ve behaved myself. How come You haven’t given me a husband, God?"
You may be asking yourself the same question. As a single woman, desiring to be married, should you trust God to give you a husband? Is marriage a state of being He has in mind for you? Does God care how difficult it is for you to wait for marriage? Will God change His mind about marriage being a good thing? Does God have plans for your life as a wife?
Single Woman – The Tough Questions
As a single woman, these are tough questions. Let’s look at them together and find some answers:
- As a single woman, desiring to be married, should you trust God to give you a husband?
- Is marriage a state of being that He has in mind for you?
Isn’t that great?! God designed marriage! He is the One who decided that it was not good for man to be alone. It is absolutely right that you, as a single woman, desire to be married. God created you that way. You were made, by God, to be a companion to your husband!
You can talk with God about your desire to be married. He cares about how you feel and He is waiting for you to talk with Him about it. You can give all your concerns to Him and trust that He has your very best in mind.
And in the book of Numbers 23:19, we read: "God is not a man, that he should lie. He is not a human, that he should change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?"
We can continue reading about God’s plan for us as wives in verses 26-30: "When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: ‘There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised."
Single Woman – God’s Plan
As a recently married woman, I look back on the time when I was single and I see that God was working things out the whole time -- even when I thought He wasn’t there, or didn’t care how miserable I felt. I learned to trust Him and to tell Him all the things I was concerned about. You can also learn to trust God for marriage. It was His idea in the first place!
This helps a lot by simply reminding me that God is working through every little thing. Even through this 28 year old single woman's life to form and mold me to the woman and wife that one certain man needs one day. Maybe this girl just needs a little more molding.
Am I complaining about my life? No because I do enjoy this time. Do I wish it was different? Yes, but it will be what it is suppose to be until whenever God sees fit to change it.
That's my prayer tonight...that God's will be done and that I don't let myself or my needs or wants get in the way of His plan.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Give it all away
This song is my prayer today.
I've held on for all this time
To something that was never mine
I've kept Your love like there was none to spare
I've heard the call and seen the need
But I've been lost in apathy
When did I get to comfortable to care?
The world is crying out
So hungry for a change
Lord, let us be the ones to say
Take my heart
Lord I pray
That I can give it all away
Let me give it all away
Cause I long to feel compassion
For a world that needs Your grace
Take my heart
I want to give it all away
You have filled this empty soul
With mercy that has overflowed
The way You give to me seems so unfair
So here is my life it's all for the one
Who gave it all in the name of love
Now this hope You give to me
I've got to share
The world is crying out
So hungry for a change
Lord, let us be the ones to say
Take my heart
Lord, I pray
That I can give it all away
Let me give it all away
Cause I long to feel compassion
For a world that needs Your grace
Take my heart
I want to give it all away
Let us be the change
Let us be Your light
Let us be Your hope
And let us give it all away
Let us be the change
Let us be Your light
Let us be Your hope
I want to give it all...
So, take my heart
Lord, I pray
That I can give it all away
Let me give it all away
Cause I long to feel compassion
For a world that needs Your grace
Take my heart
I want to give it all away
Take my heart
I want to give it all away
Take my heart
I want to give...
I've held on for all this time
To something that was never mine.
"Give it all away" by Sidewalk Prophets
Sunday, November 7, 2010
the little things
My prayers this week have been geared toward a couple of things but mostly geared toward the future. I have been praying for CBC, it's growth, how we are going to deal with the growth that is coming whether we like it or not, and that it grows for the glory of God. Also I have been praying for my place here at CBC and what's next for me.
I recently came to the conclusion that at work even at CBC I am so concentrated on what I am expected and required to do for my job and not what God needs me to do. A few months back I used my job as an excuse to not go on a mission trip. So now I'm putting aside me and even though my job is important, I'm going to do what God needs me to do and stop making excuses. With that conclusion brought on the prayer for my place at CBC. I love this place truly but am I helping? Is God using me here? I'm not sure...I can't really see it. I would never leave just to leave. I don't desire to leave CBC and hope God keeps me here but I am just not sure what he has in store for me or if He is using me here or if I'm just here because I'm comfortable here.
Listening to a song..."I Stand" by Idina Menzel it just described exactly what I feel right now.
Here are the lyrics:
When you ask me, who I am:
What is my vision? And do I have a plan?
Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?
I hear the words in my head, but I push them away.
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
And I don't know
What tomorrow brings
The road less traveled
Will it set us free?
Cause we are taking it slow,
These tiny legacies.
I don't try and change the world;
But what will you make of me?
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
With the slightest of breezes
We fall just like leaves
As the rain washes us from the ground
We forget who we are
We can't see in the dark
And we quickly get lost in the crowd
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
I was reminded of this song on Thursday night and it has been on my mind. I don't know what's next. I don't have a plan. I do know God has a better place and he will be the hero that saves me and takes me to that better place one day.
Anywho, Friday night a friend in just casual conversation talks about how we as humans tend to forget that God uses us in not only the big ways but often in little bitty ways that we tend to forget about or that we may not even be aware of yet. - That is exactly what I needed to hear! See I was praying that God lead me to my big thing. That God show me where He needs me to work or serve to accomplish big things for Him. My friend reminded that The little things matter! The little things we do that we may not be aware that make a difference..they matter and are very important!
This world makes a big deal out of the big things..the big accomplishments...forgetting and not recognizing the little things that may be changing lives.. so naturally as humans we desire to be recognized for a big accomplishment(s) in our life. I had myself convinced that I need to do big things for God for Him to recognize it...to be working truly for Him that I needed to be doing big things. Serving in a Big way...So silly, I know, like God would love me less if I didn't do something big. I just know that I am capable of doing so much more than I am. I just don't feel God leading me to do anything different right now. But I've struggled with the thought of is God leading me and I am not accepting what he wants me to do bc I'm scared or does he have me where he needs me right now doing what he needs me to do.
Today in bible study as we discussed spiritual gifts we read
1 Corinthians 12:4-7
- There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
Then Ephesians 1:11-12
- In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
Then Ephesians 1:18 (Paul is praying)
- I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.
It was so funny because all these verses were touching home for me today...what has been on my mind about the ME part of my prayer this week I felt like God was telling me that I'm being used in small ways and that's ok. That's how He is working through me right now. He works out everything and I have been predestined to do works for Him even the little things that I may not see. Paul's prayer really did help enlighten the eyes of my heart to piece things together so that I may be reminded of God's grace.
Today after Beth Moore spoke of the many spiritual gifts, I was asking myself what is my true spiritual gift....I don't really know. I have never seen myself as gifted in one certain area. If someone was to ask me to write my one spiritual gift...i really don't think i could write anything.
Maybe others see it, but I just don't. I'm sure God is using qualities of my personality and heart for Him...I just can't name that one spiritual gift. Is that bad?
We often are trying to seek recognition and a pat on the back for our good works...
We've already received our gifts/our pat on the back...our gift was salvation through Jesus Christ..now we are just to serve in thanks to God for that. That's the least we can do.
But...after being reminded from scripture and my friend...God sees those little things. The little things that are working through me for Him to help people that I may never know that I helped. God sees it and that's all I needed to hear.
None of us are insignificant. Whether our gifts or actions big or small. God knows our true heart. We just have to keep our heart in the right place and don't let the evil one or this world convince us that we are anything less than significant in God's eyes.
Lord, you are so amazing how you present things to us right when we need to hear them. Thank you!
p.s.-....this blog is kind of all over the place at times and I apologize...I just reread it and decided that I'm just going to leave it and say....welcome to my mind :)
I recently came to the conclusion that at work even at CBC I am so concentrated on what I am expected and required to do for my job and not what God needs me to do. A few months back I used my job as an excuse to not go on a mission trip. So now I'm putting aside me and even though my job is important, I'm going to do what God needs me to do and stop making excuses. With that conclusion brought on the prayer for my place at CBC. I love this place truly but am I helping? Is God using me here? I'm not sure...I can't really see it. I would never leave just to leave. I don't desire to leave CBC and hope God keeps me here but I am just not sure what he has in store for me or if He is using me here or if I'm just here because I'm comfortable here.
Listening to a song..."I Stand" by Idina Menzel it just described exactly what I feel right now.
Here are the lyrics:
When you ask me, who I am:
What is my vision? And do I have a plan?
Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?
I hear the words in my head, but I push them away.
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
And I don't know
What tomorrow brings
The road less traveled
Will it set us free?
Cause we are taking it slow,
These tiny legacies.
I don't try and change the world;
But what will you make of me?
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
With the slightest of breezes
We fall just like leaves
As the rain washes us from the ground
We forget who we are
We can't see in the dark
And we quickly get lost in the crowd
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
I stand for the strange and lonely,
I believe there's a better place.
I don't know if the sky is heaven,
But I pray anyway.
I was reminded of this song on Thursday night and it has been on my mind. I don't know what's next. I don't have a plan. I do know God has a better place and he will be the hero that saves me and takes me to that better place one day.
Anywho, Friday night a friend in just casual conversation talks about how we as humans tend to forget that God uses us in not only the big ways but often in little bitty ways that we tend to forget about or that we may not even be aware of yet. - That is exactly what I needed to hear! See I was praying that God lead me to my big thing. That God show me where He needs me to work or serve to accomplish big things for Him. My friend reminded that The little things matter! The little things we do that we may not be aware that make a difference..they matter and are very important!
This world makes a big deal out of the big things..the big accomplishments...forgetting and not recognizing the little things that may be changing lives.. so naturally as humans we desire to be recognized for a big accomplishment(s) in our life. I had myself convinced that I need to do big things for God for Him to recognize it...to be working truly for Him that I needed to be doing big things. Serving in a Big way...So silly, I know, like God would love me less if I didn't do something big. I just know that I am capable of doing so much more than I am. I just don't feel God leading me to do anything different right now. But I've struggled with the thought of is God leading me and I am not accepting what he wants me to do bc I'm scared or does he have me where he needs me right now doing what he needs me to do.
Today in bible study as we discussed spiritual gifts we read
1 Corinthians 12:4-7
- There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
Then Ephesians 1:11-12
- In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
Then Ephesians 1:18 (Paul is praying)
- I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.
It was so funny because all these verses were touching home for me today...what has been on my mind about the ME part of my prayer this week I felt like God was telling me that I'm being used in small ways and that's ok. That's how He is working through me right now. He works out everything and I have been predestined to do works for Him even the little things that I may not see. Paul's prayer really did help enlighten the eyes of my heart to piece things together so that I may be reminded of God's grace.
Today after Beth Moore spoke of the many spiritual gifts, I was asking myself what is my true spiritual gift....I don't really know. I have never seen myself as gifted in one certain area. If someone was to ask me to write my one spiritual gift...i really don't think i could write anything.
Maybe others see it, but I just don't. I'm sure God is using qualities of my personality and heart for Him...I just can't name that one spiritual gift. Is that bad?
We often are trying to seek recognition and a pat on the back for our good works...
We've already received our gifts/our pat on the back...our gift was salvation through Jesus Christ..now we are just to serve in thanks to God for that. That's the least we can do.
But...after being reminded from scripture and my friend...God sees those little things. The little things that are working through me for Him to help people that I may never know that I helped. God sees it and that's all I needed to hear.
None of us are insignificant. Whether our gifts or actions big or small. God knows our true heart. We just have to keep our heart in the right place and don't let the evil one or this world convince us that we are anything less than significant in God's eyes.
Lord, you are so amazing how you present things to us right when we need to hear them. Thank you!
p.s.-....this blog is kind of all over the place at times and I apologize...I just reread it and decided that I'm just going to leave it and say....welcome to my mind :)
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