Satan knows exactly when to attack. When he isn't attacking he is watching and waiting for the perfect time to strike. He knows me well. He knows my weaknesses and even though I try hard to stay as close to Jesus as I can, I still have my weak moments.
Usually once a month when my hormones are more excessive than usual is the prime time for attack. It's when it is easy for satan to convince me that I'm worthless. Or when I am super stressed dealing with work stuff to the point of major exhaustion...physically and emotionally. Well guess what...that time is now. So the pity party begins...
Right now he is saying...you are leaving no legacy, Sarah! You have ZERO close friends...how can someone with no close friends and no boyfriend be leaving a legacy. You are a failure at relationships!
That is all mostly true so that's why it's hard for me to swallow. So that's what my pity party is about...so I'm praying...
God please use me so that I may leave a legacy for You!...God, can that be done through a person who sucks at relationships? I'm good at loving but not good at relationships. I am quiet and often blend into a crowd almost invisible...how can I be leaving a legacy when i'm invisible sometimes even to my friends?...
I know God has great things in store for me. I know God is, has, and will continue to use me to glorify His name and grow His kingdom. I know He wins and Satan is defeated in the end! I know this life is not about me...it's definetly about Him and His glory through His creation!
Am I being too hard on myself...probably. Do I need to seek Him more and spend more time in the word and praying during these times...Yes.
He is all I need! With Him I am given everything I need to survive. He allows us to have a new day each morning. I am thankful for that even on days when I am feeling attacked and weak and emotions flying everywhere. I am thankful that He reminds me He is there even when it seems no one else is. Satan continues to attack...but as long as we cling to God...God will always win!
