Definition: Strategist - an expert in strategy or planning
The way life has been going lately can only have been put together by a strategist...and that person is definitely not me.
God is pretty amazing how all the crazy things going on right now that among that and through that He is giving me peace and blessings that I just cannot explain. At a very busy part of life, He led me to this Women on a Mission bible study and not only made it possible but twisted things around in my schedule to make it happen. Wow! At the time when my schedule was beginning to be twisted around, I did not understand. I was actually angry. Little did I know that I needed that change to take place to make room for this bible study. God's hand was truly in that. He is definitely present each week when I do the homework and attend the meeting. Each week we are encouraged to dig deeper to find out more about ourselves, why God strategically placed some things in our lives, and where He is leading us through that. I'm now so aware of my past, present, and all that God has done through it all....and it makes it so much easier to be open to the future He has for me not the one the world is pushing me to have. My plan is unique...as is yours. How great a strategist is God that the millions and millions of people in this world that He has a unique plan, path, journey for every single one of our lives and He takes time to love us to our core and bless us beyond comprehension.
On top of a busy lifestyle, a wonderful bible study, and God revealing Himself through and despite that, God was tugging at my heart to look more into baptism. See I have never been baptized even saved as an eight year old...it just didn't happen. Even becoming involved with a church when I was in senior high...it didn't happen. Even five years ago when I rededicated my life to living for Him...it didn't cross my mind. It was just recently that it really started to stir in my heart. So I started to read in my bible and a lot online about it. Articles and articles arguing whether it is part of truly being saved or not. Arguing the fact that God calls us to be baptized or that the Spirit washes over us when we accept Christ in our life symbolizing a Spirit baptism. I searched and searched the bible...Truthfully I was seeking a loop hole. I was trying to avoid it if at all possible. I didn't really care for the idea of getting on a stage in front of a room full of people and being dunked in water...have you ever seen a wet cat... hideous! Well that's how I picture myself looking after this process. But scripture kept on showing itself to prove that God calls us to make that declaration of faith publicly. Then I kept hearing these proclamations that we are to be bold in our faith and should step out to lead a life for Him....It's not about us...It's not about me...It's about Him and that relationship!
The stirring only got stronger...and I knew what God was wanting me to do. I sent an email to the pastor of my church asking some questions and telling him my concerns. We even scheduled a chat session together to talk about this. Before I even walked in the door I already knew that God was calling me to be baptized but I still wanted some questions and concerns answered. My pastor, Ken, and I don't really know each other that well so I filled him in on me and some of my story and how I had ended up in his office at that very moment. He confirmed that scripture even though it is sometimes confusing specifically states that God asks us to make the declaration of baptism to represent our lives changed through Him and by Him. He confirmed that No...you don't have to be baptized to be saved and that many different people falsely interpret that from scripture.
As someone who has and is continually trying hard to change my life to be more like Christ and less like the world, I want nothing more than to be as obedient as I possibly can to Him and His word. So I made sure that Ken knew that I was thankful for his knowledge and confirmations in what I believed deep down I already knew. I told him that I wanted to be obedient to what ever God is calling me to do and that I knew He had placed this in my heart because it is important to Him. I told Ken that I indeed wanted to be baptized. We talked about a few other things and he placed an idea in my head to include some special people that have been a blessing in my walk with the Lord. I totally agreed so he sent me on my way to confront those people to see if it would be something they would like to be a part of before we set any dates.
When I met with Paige and Alicia, I guess I expected there to be some hesitation. I guess I was preparing myself for them to say no. I didn't want them to feel like they were being pressured into something. I didn't want to coax them into pleasing me...I really just wanted them to be there even if they were just in the audience. It was so funny because they didn't even hesitate for a moment. They were flattered and became just as excited as I was. I can't explain how blessed I am to have these girls in my life and to have them be a part of something that I have been so hesitant about doing for a long time was even more of a blessing. God sure has used them to help make me become stronger and more bold. I still see His light shinning right through them every time I'm around them.
Well...today was the day! The day I got baptized.
It is funny that it ended up that I would have a week of relaxation away from every day life before this event. That strategist knew He wanted it this way. He was working on me every day throughout the week...through the wind..the sound of the waves...through a book that clearly declared that we can all be loved no matter how unlovable we make ourselves feel. God loves us and through Him is the greatest relationship we will ever have. Being bold and going outside of our comfort zone is exactly what He wants. The silence and lack of stress in my life made it such a perfect time for Him to speak and for there to be no distractions for me to listen. And I did!
I just love people and relationships. God knows that and uses it but I also use it to get in the way sometimes. I abuse it. I often make myself feel unlovable when I'm not helping someone...when I'm not constantly surrounded by people. Even though I really have known this for a long time, God really reiterated to me this week that I have to make sure that I make some alone time (like what I was currently doing) with Him. He knows that I don't like to be alone. He proved that I'm never really alone and that it could be fun and really enjoyable just being with Him. I even went on a hiking trip by myself after we returned back to Arkansas. It was an awesome day! An awesome day that I spent with Him.
It was hard to go to sleep last night because of the excitement the morning would bring. I even woke up before my alarm sounded...even after staying up late the night before. (I like sleep so that is a big deal) I went to the early service to assure that I got to catch the whole message because I knew I might miss some of the second service getting changed after being baptized and what not. The service was awesome! The music was awesome! God was sure doing some talking....then the last song of the service before my baptism of course it was...Never once. The song proclaims that never once did we ever walk alone, never once did He leave us on our own. Carried by His constant grace held within His perfect peace we never walk alone. I guess He just wanted to make it even more clear that I'm not alone...not only has he strategically placed people in my life but that He is always right there whispering sweet things in my ears. Tears were so near because many years I spent feeling so very much alone. I am so thankful that He is with me...He always was but I just didn't acknowledge him before. I'm glad that He is guiding me closer to Him and helping me fight off that loud obnoxious voice of the devil.
I changed clothes and then within minutes Ken approached to give me the run down of how the service would go. He told me that He was going to try it a little different this time. Something not traditional. He said that he wanted to do the baptism during a song as the body sang and as the band played. He said that he would introduce me and describe to the body what was going to happen then I would go up and be baptized as the body worshiped...the baptism was my worship. (Only God could have used music that I so clearly relate most to Him through and Ken didn't know of this information about me - oh that strategist God and His unique plans). I think the song they played was Christ is Risen...but to be honest I didn't hear it at all. I was focused on the task. I got up there and the stage didn't seem like a stage...and I didn't feel the presence of the audience. I heard music but I wasn't listening to the words...I saw the sweet faces of my wonderful friends there beside me and Ken as he spoke some sweet words and baptized me in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. We prayed...then it was over. I felt an immediate sense of relief...a sense of weight cast off my shoulders. Alicia cryed...Paige jumped up and down and cheered with excitement. I was simply content and calm with relief not that it was over but that the representation of washing away the sin made it feel so much more real...that whatever I was holding on to...I released it to Him. An unexplainable feeling that just soothed my soul. I was so thankful that Paige and Alicia got to share that experience with me! Their emotions of joy and excitement were exactly how I felt inside but the only thing that was coming out was a calmness that I still can't even explain....oh and of course a grin that wouldn't go away. Even though the devil really tried hard to steal my joy after church was over...it didn't happen. God knew the devil was going to try though and God knew that even through my newly gained strength that I was going to need some extra help...and He had some amazing people around me at the right time. It was no accident. And that grin that God gave me...it's still there. :) Ain't nobody stealing my joy!
Sometimes that strategist God does things we can't explain...sometimes He rocks our world to the core...sometimes He puts people in our lives because they need to be there for specific reasons...sometimes everything changes just so that our world turns to point directly to Him. Sometimes He pushes us to do things we don't want to do...He pushes us to be bold and courageous. All we have to do is show up! He really did all the work today....It wasn't about me...it was about Him! It wasn't my day...it was His! I am just so grateful that He called me to be a part of it.
Just remember...even in the hard times and even when you're angry at how something is going...stop and think...maybe this is the strategist God altering life so that you may glorify Him better!
