Friday, November 16, 2012

FEEL

In day to day things, I don't ask for help even though I usually need it every day!
I know I am loved by many...but I fight a battle to convince myself this every day because I so often don't feel loved.
I know Jesus was sent here with me in mind to die for ME...I know this...That is true unconditional love!  Yet, even though my brain and my heart know and understand this unconditional love and even though I know beyond a doubt that I am far more blessed than many and far more blessed than I deserve....I still fight with myself every day because I desire to FEEL love.
So every day I pray.  Every day I ask God to give me strength.  Every day I ask Him for help.  Every day I rely on my faith to keep me sane.  Some days I end up in tears on my knees begging for comfort begging for relief begging for love begging to have closer relationships with those around me.
I believe in the love my wonderful Savior has for me and am comforted by his word in Psalm 37:4 that says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  I pray this every day.  I seek Him and trust in Him and His plan for me.  What that is and the timing of how everything will come about is only from Him.  The human nature in me struggles with being patient.  So I just pray and seek Him more for help.
If you are out there struggling with God's timing in your life, you are not alone.