It's funny that even weeks later after the Beth Moore simulcast that this is on my mind because I have to remind myself of this sometimes.
In a job interview once I actually listed being too kind as one of my weaknesses.
Why do I think this?
I guess because this world especially the business world displays kindness as a weakness most of the time. When something goes wrong, this world immediately wants to attach it..criticize it for it's action...condemn and punish. So if someone is kind to those people during that time some individuals see kindness as a weakness to not be able make right what was wrong. I just disagree with that approach to the problem. Often when something goes wrong or if someone or something seems like it is going bad or causing a stir, I often wonder what is going on in the heart of the problems source. As a person dealing with a lot of girls, I have found it true that often someone that is always in the middle of trouble or starting drama or leading most arguments are the ones that need loved the most. They are crying out. Often those actions are turning people away but really they are just needing love.
As Christians we (i'm talking to myself too) need to quit running away from the fire and the fight but instead run right into it and trust that God will equip us with what we need to do his work to love on others and to make it out of this challenge glorifying Him.
I'm not perfect by any means and sometimes even I am guilty of pushing people away and/or filling my life with more work and distractions during my hardest and toughest times just because my heart hurts too much to face reality. Sometimes we push people away when we really are just hoping that the people in our lives will pull us back..show us that we are needed and wanted and cared for. But when no one is pulling you back..when no one is showing you that you are needed, doesn't it break your heart...it does mine!
Personally it makes me feel as if I am not showing God's light enough that makes people need me or want me in their life and that is a painful truth. It also breaks my heart to learn that even though people voice their love and/or friendship with me publicly that when i reach out or need building up that they aren't even looking my direction to see that my cup is empty. God always fills it enough so I can make it through the days though.
God sends us to be support teams for each other. I often wonder, what if my team is just me and God...it sure does make life harder on earth but I can't complain about this kind of pain. God sent His only son to die for us! Jesus was beaten, tortured, spitted upon then nailed through each hand and feet and then he hung on those nails and bled and died for us...now that's pain...
why do we complain...i have no grounds for complaint bc mine does not compare to His.
He never said that this life would be easy. He just said He'd see us through it.
Beth Moore did say that kindness wears down when we do. I think this often happens to me. I can feel myself wearing down now and since I love building others up, encouraging, and helping whenever I can...i'm draining my cup...yet daily i still have enough to encourage someone else... And it's those times when no one is there to help me up that I cry out to God the most. He is the best support and encourager of all. I'm thankful He's on my team. :)
I often don't voice my hurts or troubles to people. I think mainly because I'm being too kind. I try to help and want everyone to be happy and have great days so I don't share my pain because I think why bother them with my troubles..that just makes the day gloomy. If I talk about my pain, it often brings tears (the joys of being a girl). As a youth my dad scolded me and scolded me that crying shows weakness and we should be strong. So I became this strong girl that kept my tears for my pillow after the lights go out at night for no one to know about. It really is a hard habit to break out of. I want to be more open with my emotions but it's a work in progress.
Kindness....do i believe that it's not a weakness...I'm working on it.
No comments:
Post a Comment